Pampered by My Prince After an Awful Day at Work

Recently, work has been less than pleasurable. Last week I had one of the worst days yet. I left work beyond frustrated and upset. I talked to Casey as I drove to my kickboxing class. He must have sensed that I was at my breaking point. After beating my anger out on a punching bag, I arrived home to a magical scene.

A warm embrace from my loving husband greeted me as I slumped into our home. He led me into our bathroom. The calming glow of candles filled the room. The sweet smell of vanilla and lavender from the milky bubble bath calmed my soul. My body melted into the water as soothing melodies and a cool drink relaxed my mind and my body. Casey was forcing me to rest, to breathe. Oh how I needed that.

I could have soaked in that picture of Heaven for days, but Casey called me to the dinner table. A delicious breaded ranch chicken and vegetable pasta candlelit feast was awaiting my arrival. Incredible!

Just when I needed it most, Casey paid attention to my emotions. He was attuned to my desperation for rejuvenation and love. He loved me so well that day. The effects of being pampered by my prince have swirled in my soul for days.

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Temporary Marriages: The 2 Year Test

Mexico City is sick of divorce. They’ve proposed a solution to help reduce divorce. Try your spouse out for 2 years. Not satisfied? No problem. After 2 years you’ll have a choice, commit to your marriage for good or walk away like it never happened.

Click here to read the story. 

You can probably guess my opinion on this. RIDICULOUS! A marriage entered into with a temporary status is no marriage at all. Courtship exists for a reason. When the marriage vows are exchanged the ‘figure it out’ period is over. You are committed for life, not just two years.

If given a 2 year out, many of us would easily be able to reason ourselves out of our initial commitment. I wonder what I would do. Casey and I are approaching our 2 year anniversary in March. What if in March we were given a chance to walk away, no questions asked? Would we jump at the opportunity to avoid renewing our ‘contract’ or excitedly commit to staying together for life?

Casey and I believe that marriage is for life and believe that God desires to use marriage in the good times and bad to refine us and draw us closer to Him. Because of that alone, I know Casey and I would without a doubt commit for life. But what if we didn’t hold such convictions? It’s been a difficult couple of years. Would we walk away?

Maybe you’re already past your 2 year anniversary. What if the terms would have been different? I don’t ask this to encourage us to question our marriages. I think many would say if they had been given an out at 2 years, they might have walked away, but I bet even more are thankful they didn’t have that choice because their intimacy and marriage has developed into something beyond anything they could have imagined two years into the journey.

What are your thoughts on the 2 year marriage contract? Do you think this would help decrease divorce?

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Casey gets sick. Minny gets fleas. Shana goes crazy.

On Friday Casey started complaining about a sore throat and drainage. I was immediately on alert. Like most men, when Casey gets sick, it’s like he’s the only person in the world that’s ever been sick. Usually, I don’t mind taking care of him, but recently I’ve been beyond overloaded with work and other commitments. A sick husband was not going to fit into the agenda.

On Saturday Casey and I went to visit my sister and nieces in Alabama for the day. We decided that instead of leaving Minny at home by herself, we would bring her with us. It seemed like a win-win. Minny get to play in their fenced in yard, and we wouldn’t have to worry about her being at home alone all day.20111108-122115.jpg

On Sunday night Casey, still not feeling well, and I were enjoying some relaxing time in our giant bean bag before we headed to bed. Minny is not a fan of us having pack parties without her so we allowed her to join us. We curled her up like a baby on her back and began rubbing her belly. And then it began…

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The "Did I do that?" look

Shana: “Is that a FLEA?”
Casey: “A what?”
Shana:
“Minny just had a flea on her. Wait. Is THAT a flea TOO?”
Casey: “Huh?”
Shana: “There’s another one. She’s COVERED in fleas. Casey, get her into the tub NOW!”
Casey: “Come on Minny.”
Shana: “No, Case. Pick her up. Carry her. Dump her in there.”
Casey sweeps Minny off the floor and rushes her downstairs. Shana bathes Minny & watches fleas fall off of her.
Shana:
“Casey, get me some towels. Take the sheets and everything off the bed. Get everything from upstairs into the washer. Get out the vacuum.”

That’s pretty much how the night progressed for 2+ hours. Me running around, grabbing things to throw into the washer – sheets, clothes, blankets, rugs, towels. Casey vacuuming and trying to manage all the tasks I was throwing his way. Needless to say Casey was a HUGE help despite being sick. I’m so thankful that he pushed through to help me go to battle against the fleas.

We got everything into the laundry room and washed as much as we could. Vacuumed the entire house. Bathed Minny. Checked Minny 500 times for more fleas. Then finally made it to bed (in the guest bedroom) after midnight.

Monday afternoon. I leave work at 4 to take the car to get it cleaned out since flea-infested Minny had been in it. 2 hours later I arrive home. Thanks to VP Joe Biden deciding to make it to the airport during rush hour, I sat in traffic for hours and the car wash was closed by the time I got there. Ugh! Exhausted, we both arrive home from work. Minny greets me at the door with a paw to her nose as a flea sits on the end of it, teasing her (and me). Here we go again.

“Casey, get her in the bath. Grab some towels. Strip the guest bedroom. Where’s the vacuum?” Another night of bathing Minny, checking her for fleas, washing everything, vacuuming the whole house. About 10pm I join Casey in bed after getting some work done post-cleanup.

Shana: “Casey, my throat hurts.”
Casey: “Oh no.”

That brings us to today. Tuesday morning I wake up. Throat closed. Ears popping. Nose stuffed. Let’s look on the bright side, at least the flea-infested pooch has company during her quarantine. Right?

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What Happened to Kim and Kris?

Back in April I talked about fairy tale weddings and how you never get to see the so-called ‘happily ever after’ in movies because it doesn’t exist (and would be boring to watch). Recently, reality TV star Kim Kardashian, married basketball player, Kris Humphries, during a $10 million dollar “fairy tale” ceremony that aired on national TV. Less than 3 months later, she has filed for divorce.

Was it all a hoax just to get the money? Was it not being able to agree on where they would live (who doesn’t talk about that before the wedding)?! Kris being jobless and spending all Kim’s money? Kris not being able to get over Kim’s materialism?

We can only speculate (there are plenty of ideas out there). The reality is that it wasn’t any of these. It’s pretty simple actually. They clearly just weren’t committed to the marriage and to each other. None of the above situations had to end in divorce, well, except the hoax for the money. But seriously, if they were committed to compromise, understanding, encouraging one another, and building emotional intimacy, the story would be a lot different.

I’m not saying their marriage would have been magical, but they’d still be together. I know that sometimes commitment alone is the only thing that holds my marriage together from one day to the next. But I am so thankful for it because when I’m blinded by the hard times, commitment holds us together like glue until we come out of the fog and gain a new perspective.

I know you all have your own opinions. What do you think about the Kim & Kris divorce?

Photo from wedding-magazine.org
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Missing Him in Minnesota

There’s something revealing about the time you spend away from your spouse. Soon after Casey and I were married, I traveled to Chicago for work. Alone in my hotel room at night, I found myself missing my husband. But even more, I was shockingly insecure about what he was doing while I was away. I was jealous. He was having way too much fun and wasn’t missing me. In fact, he told me he wasn’t missing me. This was one of the lowest points in our first year of marriage. Me – devastated in Chicago. Casey – relishing his freedom in Nashville.

I recently returned from a work conference in Minnesota. Casey and I were apart for 4 days. My schedule was packed while I was there so we barely had time to talk. And I missed him. Deeply. And he missed me, just as much, if not more. It was an incredible feeling. Some say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I say absence merely reveals the fondness in our heart (or lack thereof).

The realization of our hearts’ pull towards one another while I was away confirms the work that God has done to draw our hearts closer over the last year. We have come astonishingly far since the Chicago trip, and I’m thankful that God used my trip to Minnesota to reveal just how far we’ve come.

P.S. Mark one more place off my 25 things list, Rochester, MN.

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A Real Life Notebook Moment: Couple married 72 years dies holding hands

If you’ve seen the movie The Notebook, you’ll remember the couple eventually pass away in each others’ arms. It’s a scene that’s heartwarming enough to make even the most adamant skeptic believe in true love, but it’s not just a fairytale.

The day after she graduated high school, Norma Stock promised to spend forever with Dennis Yeager. Inseparable for 72 years. They left this world together, holding hands in the intensive care unit after a tragic car accident.

It’s rare to encounter a love like this and even more rare to live it. I pray that Casey and I don’t strive for anything less.

Click here for the story.

I’d love for you all to read the story and share your thoughts below.

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2 Years Engaged

October 16 marked 2 years since Casey got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. I still vividly remember that night. The cold, drizzling rain. Him having me leave my coat in the car (for the sake of good photos). The candles struggling to stay lit. Clammy hands.

The night couldn’t have been more perfect. It’s not that nothing went wrong. In fact, a lot went awry that night, but it didn’t matter. Casey’s heart for me was evident. Even if he did forget to tell me he loved me 🙂

As we remembered the anniversary of our engagement, there was no special ceremony. No romantic dinner. No candles. It was just me and Casey doing what we do best. Worshiping the Lord on Sunday morning. Playing in the park with friends on Sunday afternoon. Enjoying some time relaxing at home at night. We paused briefly to remember the joy leading up to the proposal and the excitement and nerves of that night. We marveled for a moment about how far we’ve come. “Has it really been 2 years?”

It has. I’ve been committed to Casey for 2, wonderfully challenging and joyful years. Yet, it still feels like just yesterday.

What is your favorite memory from your proposal?

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