The Husband Speaks on Leadership

In my previous post I mentioned wanting Casey to share some insights from his perspective. I’ve been trying to get him to blog from his perspective for a while and finally he found just the right topic. Enjoy! And make sure to let him know if you like it by commenting. I’ll need all the help I can get to encourage him to write again 🙂

I continue to struggle with Ephesians 5 and what it means to be the “head of the household” like Christ is to the church.  I’m not a naturally bold person unless it is something I’m truly passionate about while Shana has a good argument regardless of the topic at hand.  Therefore, leading Shana and being responsible for my household tends to promote feelings of inadequacy.

Lately I’ve been practicing my “pack leadership” skills (thanks Cesar) while walking Minny before school.  I’ve focused on a “calm-assertive” approach while maintaining consistent boundaries; Minny has responded tremendously while my confidence with her has skyrocketed.

This past weekend I tried the “calm-assertive” approach while leading Shana around the dance floor.  Although I felt calm and confident that Shana would follow, my demeanor was a moot point.  After a very frustrating conclusion to the night, I realized I was missing a significant piece of the puzzle.  Fast-forward to Tuesday night…four days later, as I wrote to Shana in our mutual journal, a light bulb went off.

In the 11th chapter of the book of John, Lazarus died.  When Jesus went to see Lazuras he knew he was going to raise him from the dead immediately, but the reason why he didn’t prevent Lazarus’ death was because he wanted them (Mary and the Jews) to believe in Him.

When Jesus saw Mary and the Jews weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled… Jesus wept.  He knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead but the sadness of Mary trumped the magnificent outcome!  Jesus was so moved that HE WEPT!  He knew the outcome-that Lazarus would live, but he put EMPATHY before his ALL KNOWING SPIRIT and wept with them.  WOW!

True servant leadership benefits the one I’m leading.  In hindsight, “dipping” Shana would have served my pride, confidence and ego, not my wife.  As the one responsible for the well being of my household, will I be a servant-leader or a self-serving leader?  Although I can tell you what my heart desires, only my actions will determine my true response.

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About Shana Bresnahan

www.MyMarriageInMotion.com Interactive media evangelist at Vanderbilt University Medical Center that truly loves life, loves God and loves others. Wife to Casey. Owner of Minny. Aunt to 11. Advocate of transparency. (Opinions my own)
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9 Responses to The Husband Speaks on Leadership

  1. Appreciating your candor and enjoying your way with the pen, Casey and Shana. Keep being who you are, friends!

  2. Kevin Banks says:

    Boom, the man speaks. And with conviction too. Humble, wise conviction. You are learning my friend, and leading well. You lead well as you follow(Christ) well. Remember at your wedding when I said you were one of my heroes? It’s never been more true buddy!

  3. Robyn Mckelvy says:

    Great post Casey. I so appreciate the men who will stand up and say that don’t have this leadership thing down to a science. You are the one who will have to totally depend on God. He is capable of leading you as you lead us!

    • @Robyn – Hello to my “Tennessee Mom”! Thank you for your continuous encouragement. You and your family are such a blessing for Shana and me. I’m very grateful that the Lord has put you in our lives to pass on His wisdom!

  4. Great post Casey,
    I never realized in high school just how intuitive and spiritual you are as a person. It’s a magnificent thing and this blog was beautifully written (all my blogs are about children and very non descript 🙂 ) I hope all is well for you, and thank you for the inspiring post!

    Samantha Korvela Monsebroten

    • @Samantha – Great hearing from you Samantha. I hope things are going well for you; I will have to check out your blog. As for my spiritual side, I was in a different place in high school. I really started seeking to know God and growing to know Jesus in college. I knew of Him in high school, but it wasn’t very real to me back then. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement! May God bless you abundantly!

  5. Alan Hunt says:

    Great post, Casey! Many men have married the love of their life only to hit between the eyes with the cold hard fact that now, you are the spiritual head of the house…uh oh. It’s ordained by our loving Savior, so man up. Dude I fail at this position so much, but I continue to fight my own ego as I know what the future holds in Christ. Thanks for writing this, very encouraging post.

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