‘Semi-Happy’ Marriages Are Deceivingly Destructive

I read an article today about marriage. Apparently this lady has written a book that analyzes the current state of marriage in our culture. I’ll be referring back to this article for a couple of posts so I encourage you to check it out – Marriage Confidential.

“Between the realms of marital bliss and plate-throwing scream-fests lies the densely populated state of “semi-happy” marriages. They aren’t miserable, merely lackluster. In her new book “Marriage Confidential: The Post-Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives, Royal Children, Undersexed Spouses, & Rebel Couples,” historian Pamela Haag investigates the implications of these “so-so” couplings, which account for as many as 65 percent of divorces in the United States, according to research.”

It’s like in the Bible when God says if we’re lukewarm, He’ll spit us out of his mouth. Semi-happy, lackluster marriages are worse for us than those full of conflict, in fact, statistics say that 65% of divorces can be attributed to this so-so status. If you’re like me, you’re wondering what’s the explanation for this. Here are my raw thoughts.

  • Maybe people with so-so marriages pretend like everything is okay until it builds up and blows up.
  • Is it that those with all the conflict are the ones fighting for a more than lackluster marriage?
  • Possibly a semi-happy marriage just symbolizes a lack of passion in general.
  • Maybe lackluster just means “we give up.”
  • It’s possible that people just lie. They don’t want to admit that they’re fighting all the time when they get a divorce so the stats are wrong.

Clearly I don’t know the answer. I do know that Casey and I probably started with a lackluster marriage, but it didn’t last long because we wanted something more. Now I don’t know that it will be ever be the world’s definition of ‘martial bliss,’ but I do know that it won’t ever be so-so because we won’t ever stop fighting for more.

What do you think? Why are lackluster marriages causing more divorces than those with lots of conflict? What causes lackluster marriages?

About Shana Bresnahan

www.MyMarriageInMotion.com Interactive media evangelist at Vanderbilt University Medical Center that truly loves life, loves God and loves others. Wife to Casey. Owner of Minny. Aunt to 11. Advocate of transparency. (Opinions my own)
This entry was posted in Culture, God, Marriage and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to ‘Semi-Happy’ Marriages Are Deceivingly Destructive

  1. G. Michael Graham says:

    Hey Casey and Shana,
    You knew I would respond to this question. It is a number of things from a lack of respect to a lack of love on both parts.

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