I hate days like this. Days when there’s nothing you can do or say to knock down the wall that’s between you and your spouse. It all started with an unresolved disagreement before bed, that was really an unresolved disagreement from weeks ago. Our counselor would say it’s a vignette that’s been going on far too long, but for some reason, we just can’t seem to close this one. So of course, that carries over all through the night. The person that said “just sleep it off” didn’t know what he was talking about. The anger and hurt just slowly simmers overnight until it’s a boiling pot by morning. That led to me dumping that pot of boiling water on Casey first this morning and by the time I brought it up, it had really become a hearty stew. So pot of boiling water dumped, Casey now covered in “blisters”… not such a good morning. Now there’s more than one vignette left unresolved and each carries a weight that’s hard to bear. Anger stirs over little things like who is taking the dog out, but we both know that’s not the issue. Driving to church, anger billowing throughout the car, but silently we sit. At church we sit next to friends, raise our hands and Casey even gives me the “sweet couple” arm around the back. We’re professionals. For a moment, I start to believe that we are actually better. That the vignettes are closed and we are reengaging. Then we get in the car. The clouds of anger were patiently waiting in the car for us to return. (We should have left the windows open). Casey’s blisters were slowly festering out anger and resentment as the steam from my boiling water emitted hurt and anger into the air. By the time we get home, after 20 minutes of short words and silence, my pot boils over and Casey’s blisters burst. And now here we are, sitting in one of those days. We’re no longer just slyly avoiding eye contact or physical contact for that matter. Now we are blatantly residing in different rooms, doors slammed shut. And the vignette drags on… I could definitely do without days like this.
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Meet the Wife
Shana Bresnahan here. I'm a newlywed living in a small town outside of Nashville with my husband, Casey and our hyperactive dog, Minny. I'm a workaholic that loves Jesus and won't eat anything with 4 legs. I'm learning a lot about marriage and myself. I believe real growth only happens through transparency. Connect with me on Twitter: @ShanaSpeaks