Have I let myself go?

Before Marriage

The question was posed on Mornings with Brant this week about rather women care more about their looks before or after they get married. Lots of women called in with their opinions and even some men. Most commented on the need to look good for your husband and many said essentially, once you’ve caught the fish, why the need to bait the hook? This definitely had me thinking, have I let myself go?


Now, I don’t think I would go that far. I still weigh the same I did before the wedding. I dress nice when needed. I wear makeup on most days. I usually get a shower daily, even if I don’t always wash my hair. However, there are some things, like waxing my eyebrows and hairstyling that I’ve let go in the name of saving money. But is that just the beginning? It seems I’m gradually getting lazier about my looks, and it’s not like my looks are getting easier to maintain. In fact, I think we all know that looks only get harder to maintain as you age. I’m sure women don’t just wake up one day and say “I’m going to stop caring about my looks.” It happens gradually as we slowly give our looks less time. But should we care as much about our looks as we did before marriage? On one side of the argument, you no longer have to “impress” the boys, and your husband is pretty much stuck with you. On the other, don’t you want to look good for your husband? I mean, he’s the one that sees you in skivvies everyday. Just because he’ll love you no matter how you look, doesn’t mean you need to make him prove it. Personally, I think a huge part of me loving my husband is taking the time to love myself, and that, in some ways, requires me to put time and effort into my looks Not just for my husband, or for the girls I compare myself to, but for me.

What about you? Have you or will you care less or more about your looks after marriage?

About Shana Bresnahan

www.MyMarriageInMotion.com Interactive media evangelist at Vanderbilt University Medical Center that truly loves life, loves God and loves others. Wife to Casey. Owner of Minny. Aunt to 11. Advocate of transparency. (Opinions my own)
This entry was posted in Culture, Marriage and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Have I let myself go?

  1. AB says:

    The other day I heard Matt say, “You really need to spend a little more time on your appearance.” Naturally, I was defensive, but later I heard what he was saying behind that message… He wants to desire me, but if I don’t care about myself or for myself, then that sets off vibes that he can pick up on. More than anything, he wants me to be healthy. For him, that means working out and I dread the sound of those words, but knowing that he has in his heart the intentions to love me always and desire me forever I believe me putting more in to myself is worth it for our marriage. I love that this question was brought up. It’s the whole reason I started P90X and have been attending yoga classes once or twice a week. I not only owe it to myself, I owe it to the man that wants me to be healthy for our family and kids some day. But, those are my thoughts and every person has a different perspective.

    • Ashley – That’s awesome that you were able to take what he said he see what he was really trying to communicate. I’m like. I would have gotten defensive. I was doing Yoga and Zumba not too long ago and then stopped. Now Casey has started working out. We can’t seem to do it at the same time πŸ™‚ Maybe next month.

  2. TheBlackTwig says:

    Hmm, I will get married this year and I decided that I will try to work hard in order to maintain the image of the person my soon-to-be husband fell in love with. At least, before time age me πŸ™‚

    • @TheBlackTwig – Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Congratulations! Marriage is so great, and offers a lot of unique challenges. Like you, I think it’s important to maintain your looks, but know that he will love you no matter what. Sending good thoughts your way for your upcoming marriage.

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