NEW WEBSITE

I am so excited! I just spent 8+ hours working on my new website. It’s a work in progress, but I am officially making the switch. That means if you’ve subscribed to this blog. You’ll need to head over to www.MyMarriageInMotion.com and subscribe. Please do it. I’d hate to lose all my new followers 🙂


Make sure and let me know what you think of the new site. It’s all for you so your feedback is extremely valued!

Side note: Looking to upgrade your website? Let me know and I’ll hook you up 🙂

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New Website

Hi folks! Thank you for being a reader of my blog. I wanted to let you know I’ve got a new website coming your way soon. (YAY!) It will make it easier to find the content you want and share it with your friends. I’ll be having some downtime while it’s being upgraded so if you visit and we’re not up and running, come back in a day or so for the big reveal!

Here’s to the new site!

 

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New Series: Monday’s Marriage Minute

I’ve been floating around a couple of ideas for my first series on the blog. One idea was to share a short video each week that gives you a peek into our marriage. I couldn’t stop thinking about that one when I was trying to get to sleep last night. As far as I’m concerned, that’s reason enough to give it a shot.

Marriage Minute is what kept sticking in my head. Posted each Monday because of course, Monday’s Marriage Minute sounds the best 🙂 I laughed a little when thinking about me saying anything in a minute, but hey, it’s my blog and I make the rules. I won’t penalize myself if I go over a minute. With that said, here’s my first Marriage Minute (roughly).

Have you ever had a moment like this? I’d love for you to share it in the comments.

Like it? Consider liking this on Facebook or stumbling it.

Hate it? Keep it to yourself. OR let me know in the comments 😉

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Top 10 Marriage Blog of 2011

After only 8 months of blogging and less than 2 years of marriage, My Marriage in Motion has made it onto the Top 10 Marriage Blogs list! I’d like to send a HUGE thank you to everyone that voted our blog into the #8 spot on this year’s top 10 list! I couldn’t believe I was nominated. I’m even more shocked that we made the top 10!

I highly recommend that you check out the entire Top 10 List. I haven’t made it through all the blogs yet, but many of them I know and love. I know you will too! Follow them and if you haven’t already, follow/subscribe to this blog as well 🙂

A special thank you to Stu Gray and the Stupendous Marriage blog for hosting the top 10 list. Stu and his wife are also Nashvillians. Small world!

Just for fun, here’s a reminder of where it all began. My 1st post: Celebrating 365

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I’m Angry at My Anger

On Friday, after a long day at work, I barely opened the door when an awful smell filled my senses. I wanted to think my assumption was false, but as I approached the bedroom door, I knew it wasn’t. With my hand on the doorknob I thought, “This is going to be bad.” It was worse than I thought. Minny’s guilty puppy eyes greeted me. Apparently she was sick. Sick enough to leave a stinky wet mess all over our bedroom floor.

There I was. Exhausted. Hungry (not for long). Staring at poo covered floors and dog that I couldn’t even blame. I called Casey to come to my rescue. A part of me was hoping he would rush home from basketball practice to help me clean, but I was certain it wasn’t going to happen. Not because he doesn’t love me, but because it was the last practice before their first game on Monday. When he confirmed that he wouldn’t be home for an hour or so, I was angry. He was helping as much as he could – ending practice a little early, picking up Resolve on his way home. There really wasn’t much else that he could do. I was still angry.

From our counseling I’ve learned that anger is often a symptom of an underlying feeling, but there are some occasions where we are just plain angry – usually linked to something we deem unfair. If anything’s unfair, it has to be me at home scrubbing dog poo while Casey stays at basketball practice. The truth is I wasn’t really angry with Casey. I was angry at the situation. Yet when he came home I treated him like it was his fault Minny messed all over the place.

After my 3+ hours of scrubbing, 2 bottles of Resolve and 2 piles of towels, the traces of Minny’s mess were gone, but the sting from my anger remained. It makes me angry that I consciously let my anger overflow onto Casey like that. ::Let me rephrase that:: It makes me angry that I consciously dumped a bucket of boiling anger onto Casey like that – knowing that it’s really my own lack of humility or excess of entitlement that brought on the anger in the first place.

Since Friday, I have been rehashing the situation. Thinking about ways I could have avoided taking my anger out on Casey, but in writing this post I’ve realized that blaming Casey wasn’t my problem. The problem was that I got angry in the first place. Did it stink that Minny pooed everywhere? Yes. Was I inconvenienced by it? Yes. Would I have preferred to have had help cleaning it up? Definitely. But an anger of inconvenience does not a righteous anger make. In fact, truly loving my husband would have been doing everything I could to keep him from having to scrub poo (which he did avoid by the way). Right? Yup. Just another reminder that I’ve got plenty to learn and lots of growing to do.

— I was going to post before and after pictures of the bedroom,
but I talked myself out of it. I know you’re disappointed. —

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Nominated for Top 10 Marriage Blog

I am shocked and honored that folks think my marriage blog should be in the Top 10! A lot of the blogs on the list tell you how to improve your marriage and if you read this blog, you know that’s far from what I talk about. We’re just young newlyweds, sharing our story with anyone that will listen. I’m not trying to tell you how to improve your marriage, just telling you all what God’s been doing through mine – the good, the bad and the ugly. Hopefully you find it occasionally encouraging, sometimes humorous and always transparent.

If you’ve enjoyed this blog, please take a minute to vote help My Marriage in Motion make it into the Top 10.

VOTE HERE: http://www.stupendousmarriage.com/vote-for-your-favorite-marriage-blog-of-2011

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Living in the In-Between

It’s Saturday night and I’m recouping from travel as I’m sure many of you are. Casey and I spent Thanksgiving week with his side of the family in Bismarck, North Dakota.  For the first time in a long time, the whole immediate family was able to get together. It was a genuinely fun time, but I found myself feeling a bit out of place. I’ve never really noticed it as much as I did this trip with all of us together for a week.

It’s hard being the newest member of the family. Think about it. They share the same genes, have years of history behind them and have an unbreakable bond, as they should. It’s difficult to become a part of that bond, but not impossible. There are two other in-laws in the family, but after 10+ years of marriage they have seamlessly integrated into the family.

It’s not for lack of effort that I felt out of place. Casey’s family is wonderful and the women have really gone out of their way to love me well. I guess I’m just stuck in this in-between phase. Not only am I the new girl, I’m the only woman that isn’t a mom. There’s a unique connection that draws mothers together. Their lives somewhat revolve around their children. It’s only natural that parenting would often be a topic of conversation, especially with my sister-in-law expecting. Even more, all the other women are all stay-at-home moms. Even further, they all love to cook. Clearly I’m not a mom. I’m a workaholic wife that hates being in the kitchen. Not exactly the most common ground to stand on.

So how do I keep from feeling out of place? Or maybe it’s just unavoidable. I mean aren’t we all always stuck in one in-between phase or another? I’d love to hear if any of you all have found yourself in a similar place with your in-laws, friends or your own family.

P.S. One more place for my 25 things list.

Related Post: The In-Law Stigma

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Pampered by My Prince After an Awful Day at Work

Recently, work has been less than pleasurable. Last week I had one of the worst days yet. I left work beyond frustrated and upset. I talked to Casey as I drove to my kickboxing class. He must have sensed that I was at my breaking point. After beating my anger out on a punching bag, I arrived home to a magical scene.

A warm embrace from my loving husband greeted me as I slumped into our home. He led me into our bathroom. The calming glow of candles filled the room. The sweet smell of vanilla and lavender from the milky bubble bath calmed my soul. My body melted into the water as soothing melodies and a cool drink relaxed my mind and my body. Casey was forcing me to rest, to breathe. Oh how I needed that.

I could have soaked in that picture of Heaven for days, but Casey called me to the dinner table. A delicious breaded ranch chicken and vegetable pasta candlelit feast was awaiting my arrival. Incredible!

Just when I needed it most, Casey paid attention to my emotions. He was attuned to my desperation for rejuvenation and love. He loved me so well that day. The effects of being pampered by my prince have swirled in my soul for days.

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Temporary Marriages: The 2 Year Test

Mexico City is sick of divorce. They’ve proposed a solution to help reduce divorce. Try your spouse out for 2 years. Not satisfied? No problem. After 2 years you’ll have a choice, commit to your marriage for good or walk away like it never happened.

Click here to read the story. 

You can probably guess my opinion on this. RIDICULOUS! A marriage entered into with a temporary status is no marriage at all. Courtship exists for a reason. When the marriage vows are exchanged the ‘figure it out’ period is over. You are committed for life, not just two years.

If given a 2 year out, many of us would easily be able to reason ourselves out of our initial commitment. I wonder what I would do. Casey and I are approaching our 2 year anniversary in March. What if in March we were given a chance to walk away, no questions asked? Would we jump at the opportunity to avoid renewing our ‘contract’ or excitedly commit to staying together for life?

Casey and I believe that marriage is for life and believe that God desires to use marriage in the good times and bad to refine us and draw us closer to Him. Because of that alone, I know Casey and I would without a doubt commit for life. But what if we didn’t hold such convictions? It’s been a difficult couple of years. Would we walk away?

Maybe you’re already past your 2 year anniversary. What if the terms would have been different? I don’t ask this to encourage us to question our marriages. I think many would say if they had been given an out at 2 years, they might have walked away, but I bet even more are thankful they didn’t have that choice because their intimacy and marriage has developed into something beyond anything they could have imagined two years into the journey.

What are your thoughts on the 2 year marriage contract? Do you think this would help decrease divorce?

Posted in Anniversary, Culture, God, Marriage, Wedding | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Casey gets sick. Minny gets fleas. Shana goes crazy.

On Friday Casey started complaining about a sore throat and drainage. I was immediately on alert. Like most men, when Casey gets sick, it’s like he’s the only person in the world that’s ever been sick. Usually, I don’t mind taking care of him, but recently I’ve been beyond overloaded with work and other commitments. A sick husband was not going to fit into the agenda.

On Saturday Casey and I went to visit my sister and nieces in Alabama for the day. We decided that instead of leaving Minny at home by herself, we would bring her with us. It seemed like a win-win. Minny get to play in their fenced in yard, and we wouldn’t have to worry about her being at home alone all day.20111108-122115.jpg

On Sunday night Casey, still not feeling well, and I were enjoying some relaxing time in our giant bean bag before we headed to bed. Minny is not a fan of us having pack parties without her so we allowed her to join us. We curled her up like a baby on her back and began rubbing her belly. And then it began…

20111108-121614.jpg

The "Did I do that?" look

Shana: “Is that a FLEA?”
Casey: “A what?”
Shana:
“Minny just had a flea on her. Wait. Is THAT a flea TOO?”
Casey: “Huh?”
Shana: “There’s another one. She’s COVERED in fleas. Casey, get her into the tub NOW!”
Casey: “Come on Minny.”
Shana: “No, Case. Pick her up. Carry her. Dump her in there.”
Casey sweeps Minny off the floor and rushes her downstairs. Shana bathes Minny & watches fleas fall off of her.
Shana:
“Casey, get me some towels. Take the sheets and everything off the bed. Get everything from upstairs into the washer. Get out the vacuum.”

That’s pretty much how the night progressed for 2+ hours. Me running around, grabbing things to throw into the washer – sheets, clothes, blankets, rugs, towels. Casey vacuuming and trying to manage all the tasks I was throwing his way. Needless to say Casey was a HUGE help despite being sick. I’m so thankful that he pushed through to help me go to battle against the fleas.

We got everything into the laundry room and washed as much as we could. Vacuumed the entire house. Bathed Minny. Checked Minny 500 times for more fleas. Then finally made it to bed (in the guest bedroom) after midnight.

Monday afternoon. I leave work at 4 to take the car to get it cleaned out since flea-infested Minny had been in it. 2 hours later I arrive home. Thanks to VP Joe Biden deciding to make it to the airport during rush hour, I sat in traffic for hours and the car wash was closed by the time I got there. Ugh! Exhausted, we both arrive home from work. Minny greets me at the door with a paw to her nose as a flea sits on the end of it, teasing her (and me). Here we go again.

“Casey, get her in the bath. Grab some towels. Strip the guest bedroom. Where’s the vacuum?” Another night of bathing Minny, checking her for fleas, washing everything, vacuuming the whole house. About 10pm I join Casey in bed after getting some work done post-cleanup.

Shana: “Casey, my throat hurts.”
Casey: “Oh no.”

That brings us to today. Tuesday morning I wake up. Throat closed. Ears popping. Nose stuffed. Let’s look on the bright side, at least the flea-infested pooch has company during her quarantine. Right?

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